THE DOERS with APOORWA KSHITIZ SINGH || CHARTERED ACCOUNTANT/ STANDUP COMEDIAN || EP14 PT1|| PODCAST

From Ledger to Laughter: How a Chartered Accountant Found His Voice After Staring Down Despair

On stage, he commands laughter, a master of timing and wit. Off stage, Apoorwa Kshitiz Singh navigates the complex world of corporate finance as a Chartered Accountant. This dual identity is more than just an interesting career choice; it's a testament to a journey through immense pressure, profound personal struggle, and an unexpected discovery of self. His story isn't just about career pivots; it's a raw account of how the pursuit of a prestigious title can push a person to their absolute limit, and how an unconventional passion can become a lifeline.

The Allure of a Prestigious Path

For many, the path to becoming a Chartered Accountant (CA) is paved with the promise of prestige and financial security. For Apoorwa, the decision to pursue CA after high school was less a passionate calling and more a response to a powerful societal current. From as early as Class 8 or 9, the "CA wave" was undeniable – a career synonymous with "lakhs of money" and a highly respected status. By the time he finished Plus Two, his friends were already calling him "CA Apoorwa," creating an almost unbearable pressure to conform to an expectation that felt preordained.

The choice seemed simple: either follow the well-trodden paths of BBA or BBS, or embark on something "different." CA offered that distinction, even if the true nature of the demanding course remained a mystery. The decision to study in India, specifically Delhi, was influenced by the perceived difficulty of the Nepali board and the broader international recognition of an Indian CA certificate. It was a choice made with the ambition of a young man, but without a full grasp of the six-year odyssey that lay ahead, or the profound personal transformation it would demand.

The Unseen Gauntlet of Articleship

The reality of the CA journey quickly diverged from the initial hype. What began as a pursuit of financial gain soon revealed itself as a grueling test of endurance. The course, while not inherently "difficult," is characterized by an extensive syllabus and an unforgiving exam pattern. Unlike other academic programs, there's no predictability in question distribution, forcing students to master every single chapter, a task made harder by consecutive exams in Nepal compared to the one-day gaps offered in India.

However, the true crucible for Apoorwa came during the three-year articleship – a mandatory practical training period. After clearing the initial levels with impressive scores, he found himself adrift in Delhi, carrying a bag full of three-page CVs, knocking on the doors of countless CA firms. Day after day, the phone remained silent. The pressure mounted, not just from the looming deadline to register for articleship to avoid delaying his final exams, but from the relentless comparison to peers who seemed to secure placements effortlessly.

This period became a dark chapter. "Frankly, brother, it got to a point where I thought I would commit suicide," Apoorwa recounts with chilling honesty. The thought of ending his life in front of the CA institute, as a desperate statement against the system, consumed him. This wasn't an isolated incident; he knew of three Nepali students from his batch and seniors who had tragically taken their own lives around that time. The competitive environment of Laxmi Nagar, a hub for CA students, amplified the despair, turning a dream into a psychological battleground. It was a friend's intervention and a desperate call for help that pulled him back from the brink, securing an articleship that, while providing a path forward, couldn't erase the emotional scars.

Beyond Academic Pressure: A Deeper Mental Battle

The academic and professional pressures of CA were compounded by a long-standing internal struggle. Before the suicidal ideation, Apoorwa had sought help for what he described as a "mental problem," leading to a diagnosis of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) at a teaching hospital in Nepal. While his symptoms didn't align with the common perception of OCD as a cleanliness obsession, the overthinking and planning, the constant mental loops, had been present since childhood.

This internal turmoil was deeply intertwined with a prolonged, one-sided romantic attachment that spanned from Class Four through his CA studies. This unrequited love became another source of immense emotional drain, a constant undercurrent of pain beneath the academic stress. The combination of academic failure, the articleship struggle, and the unresolved emotional baggage created a perfect storm, leaving him feeling "psycho" and isolated. He found himself unable to be alone, constantly seeking the distraction of friends to escape the relentless negative thoughts.

The Accidental Therapy of Stand-Up

After multiple attempts, Apoorwa finally cleared his CA finals on the fourth try. The experience of repeated failure, however, had left him with a profound shift in perspective. He realized that the boys he once judged for failing in school weren't lazy; they had simply lost interest, a feeling he now intimately understood. This period of intense academic pressure and personal heartbreak also coincided with an unexpected discovery: comedy.

While studying, stand-up comedy became a much-needed escape. He'd watch videos, find moments of fun, and then return to his books. The idea of performing himself, however, felt distant. His true pivot to comedy was, in a strange twist of fate, driven by another romantic entanglement. After his final exams, he returned to Nepal, partly to pursue a girl he had connected with online, and partly to explore the nascent comedy scene. He took a CA job offering a meager twelve thousand rupees, just enough to cover his expenses, with the intention of "trying comedy" on the side.

The reality of the in-person relationship didn't match the online connection, leading to further heartbreak. Yet, this final emotional blow, combined with the relief of having completed his CA exams, created an unexpected opening. The pain, the overthinking, the need for an outlet—all found a new home on stage. Comedy, initially a distraction, quickly became a source of immense relief and joy. The appreciation from audiences, the messages from strangers sharing how his humor helped them through stress, offered a fulfillment that the world of finance, with its "money, money, money," couldn't provide.

Redefining Success: Balancing the Books and the Mic

Apoorwa's journey highlights a powerful contradiction: the demanding, serious world of Chartered Accountancy versus the lighthearted, expressive realm of stand-up comedy. Yet, he found a way to not only reconcile these two worlds but to thrive by balancing them. The CA profession, with its rigorous training in auditing diverse industries, provided him with an unparalleled understanding of business operations and a unique, almost universal, confidence. "I don't know anything," he states, "But if someone tells me to do this work, I will do it by thinking, or by asking two people, or by Googling." This self-assuredness, born from navigating complex financial landscapes, became a bedrock for his ventures into the unknown.

Comedy, on the other hand, offered an emotional release and a profound sense of purpose. It helped him process his past traumas, including the suicidal thoughts and the prolonged heartbreak. The stage became a sanctuary, a place where his personal misery could be transformed into shared laughter. He realized that while the CA job offered financial stability, comedy provided happiness and a connection that transcended monetary value. His parents, initially wanting him to stay abroad for better earnings, eventually supported his decision to remain in Nepal and pursue his passion, recognizing the joy it brought him.

This dual path has led Apoorwa to a more nuanced understanding of success. It's not just about a prestigious title or a high salary; it's about finding a balance, pursuing multiple passions, and contributing to something meaningful. He believes that in places like Nepal, one often needs to juggle multiple roles to build a fulfilling life, and his ability to balance both CA and comedy exemplifies this philosophy.

The Unshakeable Confidence Forged in Fire

Apoorwa Kshitiz Singh's journey is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit when faced with overwhelming pressure and personal adversity. His story is a powerful reminder that the most direct path to success, as defined by societal expectations, can often lead to profound internal struggles. Yet, it also illustrates how embracing vulnerability, seeking help, and daring to explore unconventional passions can unlock unexpected sources of strength and fulfillment.

The confidence he speaks of, forged in the crucible of academic rigor, personal heartbreak, and mental health battles, is not born of arrogance but of hard-won experience. It's the belief that no challenge is insurmountable, that every problem has a solution, even if it requires an unconventional approach. In a world that often demands specialization, Apoorwa's ability to excel in two vastly different fields—one built on logic and precision, the other on emotion and spontaneity—speaks to a larger truth: true mastery lies not just in technical skill, but in the unwavering belief in one's capacity to adapt, learn, and ultimately, to find joy in the most unexpected places. His journey from the sterile world of ledgers to the vibrant stage of laughter is a powerful narrative about finding one's authentic voice, even after staring down despair.